There's (30) Somethings About Leah

It's now just shy of a week since Leah and I got back to San Francisco, and two days before I leave San Francisco again to go back to Princeton for the year. Before I leave again, though, I've got one final post: to cap off my blog about my past thirty days of traveling, I've put together thirty reasons I learned from the trip about why it's good to travel with a buddy--specifically, a buddy who's also my sister Leah.

Why It's Good To Travel With A Buddy

1. You always have someone to take your picture.

Even when it probably would be best that your picture wasn't being taken.

2. Things are much cheaper when you split them. What's better than a $14/night hotel room? A $14/night hotel room split TWO WAYS.

3. You have someone to hold your hair back and buy you lots of Gatorade when you get a 24-hour stomach bug and begin violently puking. Yep, this happened to both of us (on separate days) while we were in Koh Tao.

Accoutrements of illness.

4a. You can copy each other's answers for the PADI Open Water Scuba Certification worksheets and get out of the classroom super fast.

4b. A lot faster than the British guy who is also in your Open Water Scuba Certification class but isn't traveling with a buddy.

4c. And then once you actually start scuba diving, you always have a buddy for your buddy check!

5. If you run out of lives on your Candy Crush, you can just play theirs for a while. We still have enough pride that we don't ask people for extra lives on Facebook.

6. You can slap mosquitos off of each other. See #26.

7a. They usually have whatever you've forgotten. Like the phone number for the hotel in Bangkok.

7b. And if they don't, at least you don't feel as stupid for forgetting it. Like the phone number for the hotel in Surat Thani.

8. Book sharing!

8a. And impromptu book club discussions afterwards. Mostly regarding whether James Patterson ever writes any dialogue that one could plausibly imagine someone voicing in real life.

9. Double likes for all photos and posts.

10. The bus won't leave without you while you're making a last-minute bathroom or snack run.

We require lots of snacks.

Why It's Good To Travel With A Buddy Who Is Also Your Sister

11. You can take turns painstakingly pecking out email updates and reassurances of safe arrival to the parents (mostly to the mom) on the iPad.

12. Splitting up souvenir shopping for family members.

13a. Thai taxicab drivers call you both "beautiful" and "gorgeous" way more often than you'd expect. Which would probably feel pretty sketchy if you were alone, but just feels flattering when you're with your sister.

14. If you look similar enough, selfies get a kind of mega-boost: it's like taking a picture of yourself and your other self at the same time.

15a. Upon returning to the hotel room after spending the morning slogging through 90-degree heat and tropical humidity, you can both immediately rip off your shirts and spend the next couple of hours cooling off in just bras.

15b. Peeing with the bathroom door open. 

15c. Walking into the room naked to get your towel if you forget to take it from the bed into the bathroom before you take a shower. I still can't figure out why European and Asian hotel and guesthouse housekeeping think the bed is a more appropriate place to put towels than the bathroom is.

16. I suppose you could do 15a, b, and c even if your roommate isn't your sister.

17. There's no chance you'll be surprised by each other's weird habits or personality quirks three days into a thirty-day trip, since you've already been dealing with them for the past sixteen years. For example, at a small grocery store-cum-bakery in Chiang Mai one day, Leah ordered a piece of carrot cake. And then she was entirely unfazed when I followed her Leah considered it perfectly normal when I followed her up to the cashier and ordered a carrot.

18. You share an appreciation for how much easier it is to plan out a day when you only have to consider the conflicting needs of two people instead of five. Especially when one of those five people is our brother.

19. At night, you have the option to either snuggle with or yank the blanket off of your bedmate, depending on how effective the air-con is in that particular room.

20. You just feel special being the only person you meet who's traveling with a sibling instead of with a significant other, college roommate, or random acquaintance made one night in a bar.

Why It's Good To Travel With A Buddy Who Is Also Your Sister Who Is Also Leah Safford

21. She's pretty punny. A couple of days before we traveled to Bangkok, Leah and I were lying on the bed of our hotel room, looking at our travel guides and trying to plan out the two nights we would have in the crowded city. We ended up sketching out an itinerary that would have had us going to a Thai kickboxing match the first night and hanging out at a rooftop bar the second. "This is perfect," Leah declared. "First we'll do Muay Thai...and then we'll do mai tai!" Needless to say, I loved it.

22. She's an aggressive walker. The only thing I hate more than walking down a street with a group of slow people is walking down a street with a group of slow people. Fortunately, Leah doesn't stand for either. If Leah wants to get somewhere, she powerwalks there. And if Leah wants to get somewhere and a slow crowd is clogging up sidewalk traffic, she powerwalks right through it. It's like walking behind Moses.

23. She believes that ice cream is the best thing ever, and that it's okay to act on that belief always.

In fact, it was the last food item we got in Thailand.

24. She will not let me lead us wandering for more than 20 minutes without knowing where we're going. When I'm trying to get somewhere by myself, I'll often stubbornly walk for an hour or two on a stupid route rather than ask for directions or take a cab, even if it means I don't have any time or energy left to explore the somewhere once I finally get there. After suffering through a couple of these walkabouts early on, Leah wouldn't let me lead us anywhere without answering the question "Do you know where you're going, or do you just think you do?" I quickly came to realize that this is a question I should be asking myself always.

25. She's really good at TripAdvisor. We (thankfully) were happy with almost every place we stayed, everywhere we ate, and everything we did, but my two favorite hotels and some of my favorite restaurants were Leah picks.

26. She attracts all of the mosquitos, which sucks for her (literally), but diverts them away from me.

27. She eats less than me. Which means I get the extra.

28. She understands the best way to visit temples. Enter temple. Locate the most important relic, figure, altar, or building in said temple. Nod appreciatively and take a picture. Leave to get a fruit shake.

...and done.

This is also the best way to visit famous sites and art museums.

29. She can hold up her end of a conversation on just about anything.

30a. I bother her sometimes...

30b. ...and she bothers me sometimes...

30c. ...but usually, other people bother us both a lot more. I'm looking at you, Obnoxious Dude From Calgary Who Insisted On Telling Us Stupid Jokes And Recounting Drunk Exploits From The Previous Night For Twenty Straight Minutes When All We Wanted Was To Eat Breakfast In Peace.

The Only Thing That's Not Good About Traveling With A Buddy Who Is Also Your Sister

Leah and I have always been close, and I think that our experiences in Thailand only made us closer. The downside to having such a good relationship most of the time, though, is that it's really painful whenever something does sour it. Over the course of our thirty days together, we had two big fights--one in Chiang Mai, one in Koh Tao--that both ended in tears. Though neither lasted more than a day, the fact that we don't usually fight meant that the times when we did were, at least for me, far and away the lowest points of the entire trip--even lower than the nine hours we spent waiting in a tiny outdoor train station for the delayed train to Bangkok while I was sick and puking.

So, after thirty days together, I can easily come up with thirty (and more) things that were wonderful about traveling with Leah Safford, my sister who is also my buddy, but only one that wasn't: the fact that we had to go through a couple of lows together in order to have a lot of highs. But what highs they were:

Love ya, dude.

Star Trekkers

Every student knows that the important parts are always bolded and/or boxed in the book (except in engineering classes, when the important parts are always left out of the book entirely and instead only communicated once during non-mandatory office hours with the TA).

Based on this principle, I was able to conclude while reading our Rough Guide and Lonely Planet that the important parts of Thailand include, to name just a few, Budget Accommodation, Shopping for Everyday Stuff, The Festival of the Holy Footprint, Mengrai Mania, Food Walks and Dinner Cruises, and Trekking. After concluding that I could Shop for Everyday Stuff without help and reading (to my disappointment) that The Festival of the Holy Footprint only takes place during the dry season, I turned my attention to Trekking. "Trekking must be important," I concluded, "because it has a sub-index in the index."

But trekking, like fugacity, is a term that I've seen many times but still can't define. "How is trekking different from hiking? Isn't it just one of those terms that people use because they want to sound all fancy and expert? For that matter, isn't fugacity?" I wondered.

For the last question, I had a ready answer: definitely yes. For the others, I had differencebetween.info:

The main difference between [hiking and trekking] is that hiking is mainly a leisure activity which is done by walking in we'll-made trails and man-made roads. However, trekking is more rigorous, and is a more challenging activity. It tests one's physical ability, endurance, and even their mental or psychological capacity.

"Interesting," I thought. "So if walking is a bell pepper and hiking is a jalapeño, then trekking is a Thai bird's eye chili! And I like things Thai spicy!"

This is the somewhat overconfident assertion, you'll remember from last week, that often leaves my mouth burning by the end of lunchtime. So I suppose, in retrospect, that it makes sense that each of the three treks that Leah and I have gone on over the past several weeks has presented a wealth of new sensations, uniquely Thai experiences, and more than a little pain.

#1: Karen Jungle Trek, Kanchanaburi

The Karen Jungle Trek was actually part of a two-day tour organized by Good Times Travel, a tour that was highly recommended by our guidebooks (in fact, I think it may have been bolded) for the number and variety of activities it included: a visit to a museum, a soak in some hot springs, bamboo rafting, a ride on the Death Railway, and more. The consequence of such a packed itinerary, though, is that while you're busy thinking about all of the Good Times you're going to have, it's easy to overlook the text stating that the tour is for experienced trekkers only. (You'd think that I would have noticed this announcement given that it was both bolded and italicized, but I guess my keyword radar was kind of worn out after spending so much time reading guidebooks.)

Our trek began around 2:30 on the afternoon of the first day of the tour. Out trekking party consisted of eight members: me; Leah; a Danish family of a mom, a dad, and two youngish boys who all had complicated Danish names; a twenty-something Dutch man who had an even more complicated Dutch name; 

The intrepid trekkers...

and Noom, our Thai guide who had a thankfully monosyllabic name. Noom was a stocky, cheerful guy in a T-shirt, shorts, and backpack, with thick quads and large, chiseled calf muscles that pointed the way directly into a pair of bright aqua plastic rainboots. Noom was essentially a male, adult Dora the Explorer.

...and Noom.

We began the trek in the trunk of a truck, a pickup truck that Noom drove through pouring rain and foot-deep puddles to the trailhead while I and everyone else bounced around in the open back, trying to keep as much of ourselves dry under three-dollar ponchos as possible. The rain, of course, stopped as soon as we started hiking (sorry, trekking), leaving us all with sodden plastic sheets to carry around for the rest of the day.

Truck on the ride back. It was too rainy to take out my camera on the ride out.

For the next four hours, we followed Noom in single-file, trying our best in sneakers to avoid the muddy gullies and streams which he and his rainboots splashed right through. As we made our way through the jungle, we learned all sorts of things. We learned that the trail we were on had been used to connect the village we were heading to with the main road, until a wider path was cleared for motorbikes. We learned that a certain kind of tree that grows in the area produces a sticky resin that can be stuck in the fork of a split piece of bamboo to make an effective torch (Noom demonstrated a little bit too close to us). We learned that it was a good idea to be careful when Noom announced that an upcoming part of the trial was "slippely," but an even better idea to be careful when he was too busy focusing on keeping his own footing to remember to warn us. We learned that Danish children have remarkable stamina, and that Noom's favorite activities include smoking, pointing out spiders, giving his charges particulary cool spiders to hold whether they wanted to or not, and chopping down things with his machete. I'm pretty sure that several times, Noom intentionally led us off-course just so he could chop a path back to the trail with his machete. We learned that it's pointless to spend hours diligently avoiding getting your feet wet on a jungle trek, because thirty minutes from the end there will be a deep river that you have to wade through anyway that Noom definitely knew about the whole time. Finally, we learned that the Thai jungle is so beautiful that it easily makes up for any hardships you encounter while moving through it, even when you know you have to trek back the way you and the next day.

#2: Baanchang Elephant Trek, Chiang Mai

I'll cut right to the chase on this one. Elephants are big. Even Asian elephants, the "small" species of elephant, are big. This bigness is the great advantage and the great danger of trekking on the back of an elephant. On the one hand, it's a lot faster to get from point A to point B when your vehicle can simply stomp down and crush any obstacle in your path. On the other hand, you're also very aware of the fact that, if you were to fall off your elephant, you might inadvertently become an obstacle in its path.

And then they might stomp on you. Or at the very least, whack you with their ears.

Like the Karen Jungle Trek, the elephant trek was a part of a two-day package, although this one was all spent at the same place (the Baanchang Elephant Park, an elephant rescue and conservation center in northern Thailand). Our guide this time was Tom, and our companions were a Dutch family of a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter (the daughter's name was Madeliefje--I gave up after that), three mahouts, and three elephants.

More intrepid trekkers...

...and Tom.

We set off on this trek perched two to an elephant, each of us attempting to control the elephants with Thai commands learned the day before, abandoning the pretense of control once it became clear that the elephants only listened to the mahouts who were walking alongside, and generally enjoying the experience of moving through the jungle while far above the mud and dirt of the ground below.

Until we elephant-trekked through a river and we remembered that elephants like to spray muddy river water all over their backs--and whoever is sitting on them--to keep cool.

#3: Nature Horse Trek, Krabi Province

Leah has been horseback riding for eight years, which is probably why she was unfazed by the following TripAdvisor review of the Nature Horse Trek in Krabi (area on the Andaman (west) coast of southern Thailand):

Two observations. First "holding on for dear life" is not a phrase that becomes better with a "lol!", especially when the person holding on for dear life is probably going to be me. Second, Leah did not keep my riding ability in mind when she decided to do this tour.

"I told them you were experienced," she announced. Clearly, I was in for another dose of Thai spicy.

Our guide this time: Bang. Our companions? None, unless you count our three horses. The experience? Benign name notwithstanding, the Krabi Nature Horse Trek was the single most terrifying and exhilarating experience that I've had in Thailand so far. The stable was built right next to the beach, so within minutes of mounting our horses, we were galloping full speed across the sand. Bang and Leah whooped it up. I held on for dear life--no "lol!"s--and hoped against hope that my horse wouldn't ever decide to "kick & jump about."

"Don't worry!" the stable-owner, who had ridden down to the beach on his motorbike to see us off, assured me as we came to a temporary stop. "You'll be out there for hours! Plenty of time to figure it out."

I don't know that I ever really figured it out, but I did manage to stay on, which I counted as enough of an accomplishment for one day. Plus, after we finished the trek, we got to do this

Horseback riding like I've never experienced before.

which even made it worth this:

Chafing like we've never experienced before (top: Hannah; bottom: Leah).

Section Review

In this post, we learned the difference between hiking and trekking. We saw three examples of different kinds of trekking in Thailand, and identified some important similarities:

1) All treks should be led by a guide with a monosyllabic name.

2) Trekking parties will often include Western European families with young children.

3) You will get wet. Don't try to avoid it; it's pointless.

4) Sometimes you'll get scraped, bitten, or chafed, but it's worth it.

Pretty soon, Leah and I will finish our Thai adventure and make one long final trek back home. Planning to have at least one more post before we wrap this blog up!